When you begin to release on old beliefs that are causing you pain, you may find that the pain almost feels like it is getting stronger. This is the ego mind making a plea for you to hold onto the beliefs it has held so dear for so many years. The truth is, you actually have two minds-- your ego mind and your spiritual mind. Understanding the difference between these two "minds" can truly help you understand that your pain that you are feeling is merely temporary and help you continue in your journey to peace.
Every last person in this world has an ego mind and a spiritual mind. Sometimes the ego mind is called the "nasty voice" or that nagging in your mind that "you really aren't good enough." The spiritual mind is the one that is peaceful and full of love and it is a place where you don't feel anxiety or pain. The ego mind, on the other hand, is the one that feels the negativity and MOST importantly, the one that is always trying to figure things out! The ego mind is really good at telling you that ANYthing that ANYone says to the contrary of your misery may well be "inspiring" but they don't and couldn't REALLY know what you are talking about or going through.
As you start to find your peace in this world, you actually begin a "battle" (so to speak) with your ego mind. In fact, even the moment you start to look for peace (i.e. start reading books about enlightenment, talk to people that just "seem" happy all the time, look for the good in every situation) will actually engage and ignite your ego mind to fight back...and fight hard! It is important to realize that the ego mind wants to hold on to the pain. Now, this is NOT because, deep down, you want to be sad or anxious but merely because it "feels" comfortable. The pain/anxiety/fear (insert your favorite word for your misery here) is all we have known for a very, very long time. The ego mind thrives on operating from something familiar, something it knows and has done before. The ego mind does not like to take risks. One sure way to know you are in your ego mind is if you are trying to "figure things out" or "understand" why something is happening in any way, shape, or form. The ego mind will battle anything that will help you to grow and release negativity. It does not want you to feel peace because that is a realm it knows nothing about.
The spiritual mind, on the other hand, can only operate from WISDOM. This is the OPPOSITE of "figuring things out". The spiritual mind just walks with faith and love and knows that their is truly ....truly nothing to be afraid of--ever. Keep in mind as you start to open your mind to these possibilities, your spiritual mind will kick in and start to help you. Every time you crack that wall of ego just a hair, you will get a little more lighter and that, in turn, makes it a little bit harder to believe the ego's lies. I can attest to a vast difference in the volume and persuasiveness of my ego minds "voice" since my journey towards peace began. The more I read and try to feed myself with knowledge about the subject, the more I operate from my spiritual mind and the less I believe the negativity of the ego's voice.
This simple understanding of these two minds and how they operate gives me a great sense of peace. I know that if I am feeling pain, it really isn't real. It is merely my ego mind trying to get me to stay in the "familiar." The ego mind truly just wants to "protect" us even though that is the opposite of what pain actually does. I know that if I am busy trying to "understand" why someone did something or justify something in my mind that I can let myself stop and see the situation from a place of love and peace and a true understanding that others actions are completely and truly theirs-- and not in my control.
In love and light,
Erin
