Poof! It's Gone!

In the past month or so, I have been holding a question, a "problem".  

"Why is it that after I deliberately manifest something I want and start to celebrate it and more importantly start to share my good news with others that I care about, does my manifestation basically disappear or eliminate itself?" 

This was truly troubling me.   After all, I followed all the rules of Laws of Attraction.   I would get very clear on what I wanted, I would focus upon it, I would feel happy, move downstream and allow it to its fullest.  If I got stuck on a particular bad feeling that I knew I didn't want to focus on,  I would use the tools that I know and love (EFT, The Work, visualization) to release those deep, old negative beliefs and sure enough, every single time, my manifestation would come.  

So, I should be ecstatic right?   Well, I was.  I was so excited.  I would start to live mentally in this new reality that I created.  Still not seeing a problem in my methods?  Me either.  Until...poof...my manifestations started to disappear! 

Some examples of this recently include buying a house and also losing weight for me.   The house thing was interesting because we have been looking for a long time but after Iain was born, we started getting serious.   We needed more room...STAT.  We had gone back and forth in possibly buying the house we rent right now and finally decided for real that we wanted to purchase somewhere else.   We needed something else.   So, off on the hunt we went.  We searched and searched and there have been times of stress for sure.  I got a bit “sideways of it” as Abraham would put it.   Like I mentioned, I really got centered, released my heart out on some old beliefs and focused back on feeling good and...poof...there appeared a perfect house for us.  It was exactly what we wanted and needed and was an amazing, almost unbelievable price.   Right neighborhood, right layout, right everything.   We were so pumped.   We got the ball rolling and we were a couple weeks from closing.  I finally believed it (this is an important statement here for what comes about) and decided to tell everyone.  I mean, everyone!   I asked for moving boxes on FaceBook, we called our parents, I told all my friends, I sent links and pictures of the house to so many and anyone that wanted to hear about it...well, I told them all about it and if they wanted to...I would drive them by the house!   We even told Lilli which was a biggie because she has been wanting a new house as much as we have.   Side note:  Lilli didn't believe us.  She thought we were teasing her.  Kids are smart that way.  :) 

Then, out of the blue, the realtor comes and tells us the seller doesn't want to sell his house anymore and we can sue the seller if we want to but he doesn't have any money anyway.   What?   Ah, guess we will stop packing now? 

The other example was starting a new diet.   I found this awesome eating plan that really seemed to work for me.  In fact, I "stumbled" upon it after wanting to manifest a way to get fit that fit with my schedule and would work semi-quickly but not take up a lot of focus.   With a new baby and trying to keep everything else going, I didn't want to have to eat 6 times a day in a certain way.  I found an amazing plan (The Warrior Diet) that is truly healthy for you whether you lose weight or not.  So, guess what I did.   I told everyone about it!   I made sure people knew that I was working out and that I was eating right and that I was losing weight.  It felt so good to share it with people and get their feedback.   And sure enough, about a week into telling people about it...poof....I suddenly stopped eating the way this plan was asking.  Why?   I don't really know.  It was working...really well actually.  I felt great, I had more energy,  and it wasn't at all difficult to follow.  In fact, I actually liked the days better when I was on it.   So, why all of a sudden was I leaving it by the wayside?

So, what exactly was going on?   Well, I had recently learned that as long as you hold the question in your heart, you can never have the answer.  Only one can exist.  So, I dropped this question and decided to just focus on being happy.  Then...poof...guess what?  It hit me!   Now, follow me here.  

The fact of the matter is that I never truly believed that the house would be mine.   I never truly believed that I already got healthy and lost the weight that I wanted to.   If I already knew these things, I wouldn't need others approval.  Needing that approval and validation meant that I needed someone to agree with me that what I wanted and supposedly had was indeed true.   This is key.   The energy I was putting out was that I didn't really have the house until everyone else saw it.  Until they were excited for me.  Until I was validated by them.   I wasn't really losing weight until I told everyone else and they told me it was true and told me that I looked better than before.   In addition, since everything is a projection, that meant that I couldn't have what I want until I got approval and validation from myself.   That I didn’t believe that I was safe and beautiful just the way I was in my old house and old figure.   

What I love about the Laws of Attraction is that they are very clear in such a basic form.  You get what you focus on.  That is it.   My focus turned from knowing that I had the house and was eating right to pretty much doubting it.   I was focusing on getting others to know it which HAD to mean that I didn't know it.  You don't need approval for something that you don't have any doubt in.   I will type that again.  You don't seek approval or validation of something that you already have confidence in.  Period.   So, I was focusing on a lack.  A lack of confidence that I was okay without dieting, that I was okay if I stayed in this cute little rental house forever.   I didn't believe that it was okay to stay where I was.  So, I was putting out the energy that my happiness would be found in a new house and a new looking me.  The old version wasn't good enough.  And...poof...my focus came true.  The house fell through and I wasn't following this great eating plan anymore.  

Have you ever noticed that someone that truly has peace inside doesn't really talk that much?   They don't seem to need to tell their story to everyone.  They always seem to do a LOT of listening.  If you ask them about something, they will tell you with a smile, but they don't seem to care if you approve of it or not and it is never the first thing they lead with in a conversation.   I love being around those people. 

So, was all this my fault then?  Nope...finding blame in anyone or anything is counter-productive for me.   These disappearing manifestations were a gift.  There were nothing less than a wonderful way to remember who I am.  Someone who already knows how amazing she is, who already knows that I could live in a cardboard box and be happy.   I have always said that I could be happy anywhere and now I understand that in a much deeper way.  

The coolest thing is when you really start to notice that there is nothing really happening in your life except ways to remember who you are.  To remember that you are already perfect.  You aren’t here to “learn” anything.  You already know it.  You are love, you are safe.  You are nothing less than love.  And any time you feel anything less than that, you are moving in the wrong direction.   You don’t have to learn it.  You ARE it.  You just get all these wonderful chances to remember it.   How cool it that?

Well, where do I go from here?   Can I still share my news with others when something that I want comes?  Of course!   I just won't make anyone's approval of it be the deciding factor of if I am happy with it.   Can I still be happy when a manifestation appears?  Of course!   That is the absolute fun part!   The key is simply knowing that whatever you wanted wasn't the thing that made you happy in the first place.  YOU made YOU happy and then the "thing" came to you.  The fact that I feel good is enough and true and SO amazing.   The manifestation is just the icing on the cake!  And it is yum-my!