Baby Steps...

Photo Credit:  www.awakened-living.blogspot.com

"A baby would never learn how to walk if he gave up after his first fall."  ~Louise Haye, "You Can Heal Your Life"   (By the way, Louise's book is a game changer.  I HIGHLY recommend it if you haven't read it yet.  Mine goes with me about every place I go.)

I am continually amazed as I watch my little Iain growing up.  I sit in amazement as he learns how to crawl, pull himself up on things and not long from now, walk.   He is so determined and focused on the task at hand.  He is so present.   He doesn't look at the other side of the room for things to move toward either.   The "must haves" that he wants are always right in front of him and so in the moment.   His current passions are anything that works something electronic.   He LOVES the XBox remote, the tv remote, our laptops and our phones.   I truly believe that kids come "cable ready" these days....straight out of the womb!  He also has no judgement of himself.  He just goes for what he wants and if it gets hidden from his sight (*snicker*) then he moves on to something else that he wants.   He barely even gets frustrated when he falls and doesn't make it to his destination.   He just keeps re-focusing and refining his approach.  It is truly a magnificent thing to watch!

Along those lines, I have noticed this great little quirk of mine lately.  Whenever I am feeling frustrated or down, I get this wild hair and I think..."Today is the day I become the new me!"    I write all these great goals and plans down, (I go to the bank like an adult!) and get myself all ready.   "Alright, Erin, today, you are going to incorporate every single one of the life changes that you need to make.  So far, you have 18 written down.   Sweet!   This ought to be easy!"    

I will give you three guesses on what happens (two of them don't count).  The next day I attempt to incorporate all my wonderful changes into my life.   For a couple of days, I even get a number of them completed but undoubtedly, life comes waltzing by and cuts right in on my wonderful dance of perfection that I had planned for myself.  

Then comes even more "self-chatter".    "What happened?   Why didn't you stick with it?  You must not want to be happy.  You must not want to change badly enough.   Well, I guess you will just have to be what you are.  Maybe we will try again next month, then again, maybe not.   You aren't cut out for this."   And I truly feel worse than I did before I even started the plans.  

Sound familiar?  

So, how do you change your life?  How do you take all that awesome motivation and hone it a bit to really work--long term--for you?

Here are some tips I have gathered that will help you along the way.  

Realize that you are good enough RIGHT now

It truly is a wonderful thing to want to improve on yourself but the energy you hold and that surrounds your want to do this is what will make or break your "self improvement" experience.   Be watchful of making changes to yourself because you can't stand who you are in the moment.   You won't get very far.   Instead, make plans and develop habits when you are feeling great!   Sounds backwards, doesn't it?   I promise that you will get MUCH more bang for your buck if you do this one small thing.   The energy you hold when you make the changes will create success or failure.  If you are thinking about how messed up your life is or how much you need to be different, you will just get more of the same.  And it doesn't matter how cool your new planner or your "THE NEW ME" Excel spreadsheet is.  

Start small and take baby steps

This is no way you can change your whole life's habits in a week.  It isn't possible and trying to do so gets almost nothing accomplished.   Instead, start small.  VERY small.   Write all that you want down but then only take 1-3 items and slowly incorporate them into your life.  This is how you will start to see success and you will start to feel good about what you are doing.  Little by little, you will start to build what you want and see the fruits of your patience.

Allow yourself to make mistakes

Get it through your head that it is not going to go exactly like you have it on paper.   Tell yourself that in the beginning and you will feel much better when you do miss a day of exercise or you happen to slip up on one of your goals.   This is key to relieving yourself of the guilt.   My husband taught me this.   He told me..."Getting down on yourself when you slip up is the quickest way to NEVER reach your goal."      
Say to yourself...."I don't need to get this perfect.  I just need to stay focused on what I want.  I probably will miss a day.  But I do like this.  I do enjoy it and I would like to continue it when I can."  

Allow yourself to change your mind

I read an article once that really changed my thinking on this.  It said when you start a new habit, to give yourself a time frame of how long you are going to TRY it for.   That sounded ridiculous to me.  All my changes needed to be permanent.   But this really works!   

Tell yourself that you are going to try to incorporate your said habit for 30 days.  That is it.   At the end of the 30 days, you will reevaluate it and ask yourself if you LIKE it.   You will feel around for if it is working for you.   

This takes the stress off of feeling like you have to do anything.  You are just trying it out.  It may work, it may not.   It builds confidence and most importantly, empowerment.  Without that, you won't stick to much for long.   

Do what is good for you

Just because someone told you or you probably have convinced yourself that this goal is what you NEED to be doing...does not mean that is true.   Let me repeat that in a different way.  YOU MIGHT BE WRONG ABOUT THIS BEING A GOOD THING FOR YOU.   Crazy, isn't it?   This one was a huge ah-ha for me.
An example:   I used to LOVE doing a certain high intensity exercise DVD.  It worked me out great and I felt great after doing it.  I started doing it again recently and I noticed that it wasn't working for me.  My joints were taking a beating and I was feeling horrible after.   (this is even after I really gave it a good shot).   So, I looked again at what I wanted my outcome to be and I realized that my goal really had changed.  I didn't just want to lose weight anymore.  I wanted to get healthy, calm my mind, and tone my body.   This old DVD wasn't going to do all that...in fact, it was stressing my body out so much, I think I was going the wrong direction.  

Be the one you want to make proud

I have really just started to get this but when I did, a whole new world opened up for me.   The power in making yourself proud is so amazing and motivating in itself.   As I let go of needing anyone else's approval, magic seems to happen.   I flow so freely and I get things done in lightning speed!   I hold on to things I want to do more because I know how happy it makes me.  There isn't any waiting or hoping for someone else to hand me my approval...I already have it!  

Basically, just trust yourself and make changes with love wrapped in your intentions and it will make all the difference in the world.  

I will leave you with this clip as a reminder...well, actually just to give you a laugh.  
I LOVE this show!