Be The Change...

Close your eyes for a moment.   Look at the people in your life that might be frustrating you right now.

How do you see them?
How do you see your nagging children that won't let you have a moment's peace?
How do you see that friend that you thought was there for you and hasn't been lately?
How do you see that neighbor that won't mow their lawn and their lovely dandelion seeds are floating over to your lawn each day?
How do you see your significant other that maybe didn't give you the attention you thought you were needing?
How do you see the lady at the grocery store that runs up and cuts in front of you to be first in line?

So, let's try this.   Look at the situation and those people once again but this time, just for a minute, try to get a glimpse of them as your inner self might see them.

How would you look at the "mistakes" they might make if you could only see them with love?  
How do they look when you take YOU or your own want for approval, love and respect out of the equation?
What might have been their motive?  Is there something going on in their life too?  Were they thinking of themselves (much like you)?

When we stop for a moment to put on a different pair of glasses to see the world, we end up seeing a different picture.   I am not saying that you have to condone anything.   But think for a minute what you are accomplishing by being frustrated or angry at these aggravations.   Not much, right?  Well, besides getting to feel lousy!

Let's look again at those frustrating situations...
Maybe you might see your children as truly loving the time they spend with you and possibly needing some guidance from you.
You might see that friend going through a particularly difficult time as well and possibly staying back because they just don't feel like they could be the friend that they wanted to be to you.
You might get a glimpse of the neighbor who is so frustrated with his job and bills that mowing his lawn might be the last thing he could think of or get motivated to do.
And there is your significant other who is needing love as much as you need it at the moment and just innocently missed your signal.
And that famous lady at the grocery store.   If you watch, she might run out to her car where her ill child is waiting for her and the medicine/food she ran in to get "real quick".

In my experience, there are always two sides to each story and if you start to purposely look for the good and start to deliberately focus those that "hurt" you in the most beautiful light possible, a change will come.   Your heart will heal and you would be surprised what might happen in theirs as well.

You must be the change that you want to see in the world.
~Mohandas Gandhi

By all means, paint.

I love it when you get centered on what you want and the universe just delivers like there is no tomorrow.  Seriously...it really is that easy.

Photo Credit:  Cyruspavel.com

A day or two ago, I read a blog post on Tiny Buddha by Cat Li Stevenson called "How to Let Go of Fear to Live Passionately and Authentically."  It gave a Gay Hendricks exercise that asks you to look at what 4 or 5 things do you truly want to say you accomplished as you lay on your deathbed.  I really took this serious as I could instantly see what a great way it was to do some awesome visualization for what you want.  A cardinal rule of creating your life deliberately is to visualize how you want things to be and ignore how they feel today in reality.  

So, I wrote quite a few things about what I wanted to be proud of.  The crucial component of this exercise is that it evoked so much feeling from me.  I could really see myself wanting to say I lived a life like this.   That I really did it...that I lived my life the way I wanted to.   My words were dripping with emotion and I felt SO high and happy after I did it, which is always an indication of aligning with who you really are.  I really did know what I wanted for my life.  Wow!

Now, this is the power of seeing your life as you want it...i.e. visualizing.  Within a couple of days, I have been utterly bombarded with the same message, same lesson, same answer basically from the universe.   It couldn't get any clearer...if I want to know how to get what I want, I need to just START.   Start now, stop waiting, stop planning, just start.   Begin...NOW.   Stop worrying about if I have done enough planning.  Stop worrying about it I have enough talent.  Stop telling myself that I might need more classes or schooling or money.  Stop worrying about old beliefs, stop reading more books on the subject, stop making schedules, stop writing lists of what I am going to do.  I have all the knowledge I need to have exactly what I want.  There is nothing stopping me.  STOP PLANNING MY LIFE and START TO LIVE IT.

Now, there is no mistaking what was said to me.  It was in every conversation I had.  EVERY one of them.   It was in every blog post or article I read.   ALL of them.  It was written all over everything.  I loved it.  I kept getting more and more information...and it just kept repeating the message I was supposed to (and did thankfully) hear.

One of the best quotes I "stumbled" upon was this...
“If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” ~ Vincent van Gogh

That hit me like a ton of bricks.   It is that simple.  Just do it!  Be the person you want to be.  Look any fear you have in the face and tell it (as my Grandma would say) to "Go eat dirt!"   There is nothing to fear but fear itself.   There is another good one!  Ha!

I feel invigorated.  I feel like something has clicked.  No more prep.  I am just going to live.   MAN, that feels great!!!!

Perfect video from "Newsies" that seems to sum it up nicely.
PS...I had a MAD crush on "Jack" back in the day.   Good lolly, he is just pretty!

The Pinwheel Offering

Photo Credit:  Pinwheelgirls.com

I went with Lilli on her field trip this morning.  One of the things the children got to do was make pinwheels.   They colored them with markers and were beyond excited to play with them once they got outside.   Once the field trip was over, Lilli wanted to ride the big, cool bus back with her class so I drove to her school to pick her back up.  She came running across the playground with all the other kids, all holding their pinwheels, grinning from ear to ear.

As her and I started making our trek to the vehicle, she said she wanted to go to McDonalds instead of eating lunch at daycare.  I told her not today as sometimes we get to do that and sometimes we don't.  Today, I would take her to daycare and she could eat there.

She started to throw a fit and was pretty mad about it.   I tried to distract her by not responding to her anger and asked if I could see her pinwheel.  She folded her arms and said "NO, I am not going to let you see my pinwheel because I am mad at you."   This didn't seem to frustrated me too bad.  I, after all, had seen a few fits in my day and knew my little six year old was just frustrated at the circumstances.  It had nothing to do with me or so my logical mind thought.  But apparently, my subconscious was hurt or thought some sort of wrong had been done to me in some way.  Lilli actually got over her anger fairly quickly and was trying to catch up to me (for some reason, my pace had quickened) and said, "Here Mom, you can see my pinwheel now."   I calmly told her "No thank you, I am fine dear."  

She instantly felt the change in my energy.  So did I.  She started to throw a fit again and scream at the top of her lungs that she NOW wanted me to have this pinwheel!  "I am offering it to you, please take it from me!"  I kept my cool the entire time but kept telling her no and that it was okay.  My words and tone were kind and loving but for some reason, I was NOT going to take that pinwheel.  I remember thinking that she needs to learn a small lesson here.  She needs to know that she cannot throw a fit and be mean to others and expect them to just come running back.  Who is with me here?  Makes perfect sense...right?  I wasn't being the least bit mean to her.  I was even asking her other questions trying to distract her and lighten the mood a bit.  But again, I was not going to take that pinwheel.

Well, she dug her heels in and was basically broken hearted.  She was screaming and crying and could not understand why I wouldn't take her pinwheel...her offering of peace.  I took her to daycare, all the while, the saga still continued.  We got inside and she kept asking and asking for me to take it.  Why wouldn't I take it?   She and I were both wondering now.  I gave her a big hug and a kiss and told her to have a wonderful day and sent her off to play.  She was still very upset.

I drove away and my mind started to question what had just happened.  Although, I had kept my cool and thought I had done the right thing, I started to wonder why I felt so horrible.  I didn't cave in.   I was also very kind and didn't get into any kind of confrontation with her.  I didn't try to force her into anything.  I was strong.  I was teaching my daughter a valuable lesson in my mind.  So, why was my heart so heavy?

I started to rub one of my inspiration rocks (it just happen to be laying in my car) as I drove back home and....it hit me.   I had just taught her that my love for her was conditional.   I had taught her that if she got mad at me or talked back or tried to hurt my feelings that I would, in turn, deny her love.  I would still be kind but I would not let her love me.  And then the tears started.   That was not what I wanted her to know...no wonder I felt so bad.  I know deep within me that what she believes in her heart will be how she lives her life.  Conditional love would never be a belief I wanted her to carry with her.  More importantly, it wasn't a belief that I wanted to have anymore either.

So, I sat in my driveway, as I had made it home by now, and wondered what would make me feel better.  This turmoil was in me and this conflict between her and I, however small it may seem, came up for a reason...it was a gift...they are always gifts.  This beautiful reason was here now to show me that this isn't who I was anymore.  I had read a thousand books on the subject of unconditional love but this was probably the most "in your face" moment I ever had with it.  It was there, laying in my lap, wondering what I was going to do with it now.

I went inside the house and couldn't even make it up my stairs.  The voices in my head said that she was already playing and had more than likely forgotten about it already.  I could go on with my day and maybe talk to her about it later.  I, after all, had many things to do.  But luckily, my inner being (who is really getting quite strong) took over.   I didn't feel good inside and that always means my previous actions had taken me in a direction unlike who I really am.   I wanted to feel better.

When I arrived back at her daycare, just a short 5 minutes later, I walked outside to where indeed she was playing happily.  I looked at her and just waved.  She screamed "Mom!" and ran over to me and we sat on the back steps.  She jumped up on my lap and I asked her if I could look at her pinwheel.   She smiled and handed it right to me.  She said "I am sorry I hurt your feelings."  I said "You can't ever hurt my feelings, baby.  It was my choice to feel hurt.   I need you to know that I love you whether I am angry or not.  Whatever you do, I never stop loving you."   Then, she and I tried to make her somewhat  dilapidated paper pinwheel turn and giggled at its uncooperative nature for a few more minutes.  I gave her a great big hug and kiss again and felt a lightness this time that was more beautiful than words can express.   She jumped down and ran to play and have a picnic with her friends.   I drove away knowing that she had just healed a part of me that I have been trying to for more years than I can remember.   My appreciation of her in my life will always be beyond explanation.

And now, I think I am going to go buy myself a pinwheel! 

Photo Credit: Shutterstock