Poof! It's Gone!

In the past month or so, I have been holding a question, a "problem".  

"Why is it that after I deliberately manifest something I want and start to celebrate it and more importantly start to share my good news with others that I care about, does my manifestation basically disappear or eliminate itself?" 

This was truly troubling me.   After all, I followed all the rules of Laws of Attraction.   I would get very clear on what I wanted, I would focus upon it, I would feel happy, move downstream and allow it to its fullest.  If I got stuck on a particular bad feeling that I knew I didn't want to focus on,  I would use the tools that I know and love (EFT, The Work, visualization) to release those deep, old negative beliefs and sure enough, every single time, my manifestation would come.  

So, I should be ecstatic right?   Well, I was.  I was so excited.  I would start to live mentally in this new reality that I created.  Still not seeing a problem in my methods?  Me either.  Until...poof...my manifestations started to disappear! 

Some examples of this recently include buying a house and also losing weight for me.   The house thing was interesting because we have been looking for a long time but after Iain was born, we started getting serious.   We needed more room...STAT.  We had gone back and forth in possibly buying the house we rent right now and finally decided for real that we wanted to purchase somewhere else.   We needed something else.   So, off on the hunt we went.  We searched and searched and there have been times of stress for sure.  I got a bit “sideways of it” as Abraham would put it.   Like I mentioned, I really got centered, released my heart out on some old beliefs and focused back on feeling good and...poof...there appeared a perfect house for us.  It was exactly what we wanted and needed and was an amazing, almost unbelievable price.   Right neighborhood, right layout, right everything.   We were so pumped.   We got the ball rolling and we were a couple weeks from closing.  I finally believed it (this is an important statement here for what comes about) and decided to tell everyone.  I mean, everyone!   I asked for moving boxes on FaceBook, we called our parents, I told all my friends, I sent links and pictures of the house to so many and anyone that wanted to hear about it...well, I told them all about it and if they wanted to...I would drive them by the house!   We even told Lilli which was a biggie because she has been wanting a new house as much as we have.   Side note:  Lilli didn't believe us.  She thought we were teasing her.  Kids are smart that way.  :) 

Then, out of the blue, the realtor comes and tells us the seller doesn't want to sell his house anymore and we can sue the seller if we want to but he doesn't have any money anyway.   What?   Ah, guess we will stop packing now? 

The other example was starting a new diet.   I found this awesome eating plan that really seemed to work for me.  In fact, I "stumbled" upon it after wanting to manifest a way to get fit that fit with my schedule and would work semi-quickly but not take up a lot of focus.   With a new baby and trying to keep everything else going, I didn't want to have to eat 6 times a day in a certain way.  I found an amazing plan (The Warrior Diet) that is truly healthy for you whether you lose weight or not.  So, guess what I did.   I told everyone about it!   I made sure people knew that I was working out and that I was eating right and that I was losing weight.  It felt so good to share it with people and get their feedback.   And sure enough, about a week into telling people about it...poof....I suddenly stopped eating the way this plan was asking.  Why?   I don't really know.  It was working...really well actually.  I felt great, I had more energy,  and it wasn't at all difficult to follow.  In fact, I actually liked the days better when I was on it.   So, why all of a sudden was I leaving it by the wayside?

So, what exactly was going on?   Well, I had recently learned that as long as you hold the question in your heart, you can never have the answer.  Only one can exist.  So, I dropped this question and decided to just focus on being happy.  Then...poof...guess what?  It hit me!   Now, follow me here.  

The fact of the matter is that I never truly believed that the house would be mine.   I never truly believed that I already got healthy and lost the weight that I wanted to.   If I already knew these things, I wouldn't need others approval.  Needing that approval and validation meant that I needed someone to agree with me that what I wanted and supposedly had was indeed true.   This is key.   The energy I was putting out was that I didn't really have the house until everyone else saw it.  Until they were excited for me.  Until I was validated by them.   I wasn't really losing weight until I told everyone else and they told me it was true and told me that I looked better than before.   In addition, since everything is a projection, that meant that I couldn't have what I want until I got approval and validation from myself.   That I didn’t believe that I was safe and beautiful just the way I was in my old house and old figure.   

What I love about the Laws of Attraction is that they are very clear in such a basic form.  You get what you focus on.  That is it.   My focus turned from knowing that I had the house and was eating right to pretty much doubting it.   I was focusing on getting others to know it which HAD to mean that I didn't know it.  You don't need approval for something that you don't have any doubt in.   I will type that again.  You don't seek approval or validation of something that you already have confidence in.  Period.   So, I was focusing on a lack.  A lack of confidence that I was okay without dieting, that I was okay if I stayed in this cute little rental house forever.   I didn't believe that it was okay to stay where I was.  So, I was putting out the energy that my happiness would be found in a new house and a new looking me.  The old version wasn't good enough.  And...poof...my focus came true.  The house fell through and I wasn't following this great eating plan anymore.  

Have you ever noticed that someone that truly has peace inside doesn't really talk that much?   They don't seem to need to tell their story to everyone.  They always seem to do a LOT of listening.  If you ask them about something, they will tell you with a smile, but they don't seem to care if you approve of it or not and it is never the first thing they lead with in a conversation.   I love being around those people. 

So, was all this my fault then?  Nope...finding blame in anyone or anything is counter-productive for me.   These disappearing manifestations were a gift.  There were nothing less than a wonderful way to remember who I am.  Someone who already knows how amazing she is, who already knows that I could live in a cardboard box and be happy.   I have always said that I could be happy anywhere and now I understand that in a much deeper way.  

The coolest thing is when you really start to notice that there is nothing really happening in your life except ways to remember who you are.  To remember that you are already perfect.  You aren’t here to “learn” anything.  You already know it.  You are love, you are safe.  You are nothing less than love.  And any time you feel anything less than that, you are moving in the wrong direction.   You don’t have to learn it.  You ARE it.  You just get all these wonderful chances to remember it.   How cool it that?

Well, where do I go from here?   Can I still share my news with others when something that I want comes?  Of course!   I just won't make anyone's approval of it be the deciding factor of if I am happy with it.   Can I still be happy when a manifestation appears?  Of course!   That is the absolute fun part!   The key is simply knowing that whatever you wanted wasn't the thing that made you happy in the first place.  YOU made YOU happy and then the "thing" came to you.  The fact that I feel good is enough and true and SO amazing.   The manifestation is just the icing on the cake!  And it is yum-my! 

Happy New Year! *Special Offer*

Good night, sweet ego mind.

"Confusion is the prelude to clarity."  ~Unknown

It seems as we begin and walk through this journey of life, we often “stumble” on what we would call moments of confusion.  Those moments when nothing seems to make sense and the things that we thought we knew start coming apart at the seams.  

As we open new doors to the truth that we always have known deep within us, things tend to get a bit crazy sometimes.  The key is to realize the “funk” you are feeling or seeing in your world is merely your ego mind trying to hold onto the world it has taken so long to build.  

The ego mind is the place in your mind that holds all your fear and doubt.   As you experience moments of “pain” in your life, you ego mind builds memory and starts to form beliefs about certain situations and people.  It does this to supposedly protect you.   And when you find yourself in a contrasting situation once again, the ego mind goes back into the data files and remembers what happened before and tells you to be fearful or paranoid of the new current situation no matter how inapplicable those old emotions may be to what is really happening now.

Freedom begins when we start to understand that the only thing that can ever cause us pain is our ego mind and these misguided thoughts.   But as we do that, we may start to feel a good bit of resistance.  It is a beautiful thing when we start to unravel old beliefs and just live in the present moment.  However, the ego mind isn’t a big fan of this and that is where the confusion comes in.  Your ego mind built all of these beliefs in an effort to do what it thought was best—protect you and it doesn’t want to let go that easily.   

I like to look at the ego mind as a strong-willed 4 year old that has always been allowed to go to bed whenever and as late as he chooses.  The 4 year old's parents (you) have tried a number of different methods and even bribes to attempt to convince him that going to bed is a good idea yet, nothing has worked.  The parents "win" every now and then and the child falls asleep.   However, they can’t seem to get a consistent schedule and get the child's behavior to truly change which is what they really want.  

Deep down the child is tired and does want to feel better but can't grasp that sleep is the way to do that. He wants to keep playing (think fearful thoughts) and continue to do whatever he wants (your ego mind reacting to outer stimuli).  That is what he is used to and that is currently what feels good.  Of course, the real consequences for this little one is feeling much worse the next day and not being able to function like he wants because he is so tired.  

So, the parents (you) decide that a consistent bedtime is truly what is best for the child and for them and they say they are just going to really buckle down and make this happen.  They start a consistent pattern of putting him to bed at the same time every night.   Naturally, the child resists.  And when I say resist, I mean throws an all-out fit.  The child fights it as he feels like something he cherishes is being ripped away from him.  

The parents however, remain consistent and loving.  They have made the decision and they are going to enforce it.  They have come to a peace about it and truly know they are doing the right thing.   They might experience a bit of anger, regret and guilt as they hold steady and watch the child struggle with this new reality.   They might even waver a bit as they want to comfort and ease the resistance that the child is feeling (you feeding into old beliefs and negative thoughts).  

However, slowly this sweet 4 year old does start to accept the new reality.   He starts to have better days where he is not so tired and gets to play more and feel better doing it.   He understands now that the parents are not going to budge and even can see that all the resistance the child provides is actually painful in itself.  The 4 year old starts to trust the parents and realize that they truly know best.  And finally, the child accepts the new schedule and goes to bed (trusts the universe) with ease and even happiness. 

As I started on this journey, it truly helped me to try and see my ego mind as this 4 year old who has just basically been allowed to behave badly for a long time.  It might help to know that the beliefs you start to release will all be “cherished” a bit different as well.  It will hang on to some of them a little tighter much like a favorite toy of our 4 year old.  And some will be released with ease.   It all depends on what beliefs you have and how much you and your ego mind have enforced them over the years.  

My promise to you is that it will get easier as you go.  Once your mind is opened, you can never close it again.   The more your ego mind understands that it is the one that is actually doing the damage that it has been trying to prevent, beliefs start to unravel everywhere. 

Basically, you are re-training your mind to feel safe and trusting.  There will come a point where it starts to understand that you are NOT going to budge.   It will begin to see that your only priority is to feel good and that you are going to have to work together to achieve this.  

And soon, you will lay it and all its fear down and it will sleep peacefully through the night.  

Just Fall

I watched a leaf fall off one of my big trees in the back yard this morning.  It was truly beautiful to witness.  There wasn’t a gust of wind to force it off.  It was so quiet outside that I even heard it crack off the branch.  I watched as it softly drifted down and landed on its new home, the ground.  The whole experience felt so peaceful and there was a sense of knowing that seemed to encompass me. 

www.ubiquitense.com

More importantly, I noticed that the leaf didn’t have to think about falling or even try to calculate where exactly it was going to land.  It didn’t try to prolong its time on the tree, holding on to the branch trying to become greener.  It didn’t even do a Google search on the perfect time to fall or ask its numerous friends if they thought it was a good idea.  It...just…fell. 

It seems to me that people love this time of year; I know I do.  However, I often wonder why.  Is it seeing the beautiful colors as the landscape changes?  Is it the crispness in the air?  Is it the pumpkins being harvested and carved?   Yes, I am sure it is all of that but even more, I believe this love of fall can be attributed to the feeling of pure and natural change that seems to be all around us.

Fall time feels like change that isn’t necessarily asked for but just effortlessly happens.  So often in our lives, we resist change and long for everything to stay the same.  We hold tightly to our routines and schedules and get increasingly frustrated when something seems to start to move in another direction. 

www.medicalschoolmrs.blogspot.com

As I watched this leaf fall, I couldn’t help but think how amazing it would be if every change in my life could be that beautiful.  If every single movement could just feel like the next logical step.  I imagined what peace I would feel if I would just allow, trust, and perhaps even welcome what is next to come into my world without any resistance. 

I stood there in my backyard and thought about how many times I have looked back (after the fact) and been utterly grateful for a specific change that happened in my life.   Unfortunately, at the time it was all happening, I fought it tooth and nail.  In fact, I cursed every last piece of it.  And now, as I see where I stand and what I learned, I couldn’t be happier that it happened.  

This was so interesting to me.  What would happen if we just trusted in the movement of our lives and just let it all fall where it may?   What would happen if that peace and gratitude we feel much later on could be moved into the moment that change is actually happening?  My belief is that we would see the perfection of it all.   We would find that bliss we all seem to be looking for in ourselves first instead of looking for it specific events and answers.   We would stop waiting for all of the pieces to fall into place before we feel true joy and appreciation for our lives.   

I guess we would…just…fall.

What Is Reiki?

As most of you know, I am a certified Reiki II practitioner as well as a life coach.  I often get asked, "What exactly is Reiki?"   Many people have heard "something" about it but really can't put it into words.   Those that have experienced know how powerful it is but may have a hard time explaining as well.  The following information I received during my certification at the Healing Light Reiki Center and it is a great explanation for those that are wondering.
  
If the following interests you and you would like to schedule a session, please contact me at the below information.

Erin Ginkel
lovesingin@gmail.com
801.721.3469

Reiki (pronounced Ray-Key) is a technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing.  It is administered by "laying on of hands" and is based on the idea that unseen "life force energy" flows through us and is what causes us to be alive.  If one's "life force energy" is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy. 
A treatment feels like a wonderful glowing radiance that flows through and around you.  Reiki treats the whole person including body, emotions, mind, and spirit creating many beneficial effects that include deep relaxation and feelings of peace.   Many have reported miraculous results.   Reiki is also used as an excellent technique to open and balance the Chakra System.   The chakras are spinning vortexes of energy located within our etheric body through which we receive, transmit, and process life energies.  
Reiki is a simple, natural, and safe method of healing and self-improvement that everyone can use.  The existence of this Reiki energy has been verified by recent scientific experiments, and medical doctors are considering the role it plays in the functioning of the immune system and the healing process.   Many hospitals are teaching their nurses how to give Reiki to patients.   It also works in conjunction with all other medical or therapeutic techniques to relieve side effects and promote recovery.  Reiki is amazingly simple to learn.  Its use is not dependent on ones intellectual capacity or spiritual development and therefore is available to everyone.  It has been successfully taught to thousands of people of all ages and background!

BENEFITS OF REIKI

• Reiki leads us beyond what we know of ourselves.
• Reiki is a way to personal empowerment.
• Reiki can do no harm.
• Reiki exposes infinite reality and possibilities of our unlimited potential and assists us in becoming a greater part of the light. 
• Reiki raises the consciousness of the individual and allows us to access our inner depths.  Your sensitivity will increase, and you will also be more sensitive to the energy of other people, things and places. 
• Reiki is a call beyond self understanding.
• Reiki releases fear which is the absence of love and lets go of what no longer serves the individual's highest good.  Life focus shifts from survival to love of self and others.
• The Reiki student begins to experience expansion in the manifestation of love energy in the physical world.  It is love that allows the Soul to come in alignment with Universal Consciousness. Life begins to flow more easily, more in tune to clear vibrations of the Spirit.
• Fear and anger projections of the past are healed and lose their power.  Balance, confidence, and joy increases.  
• Reiki is available to all who wish to heal and to make a positive impact on the healing of our planet.

Personally, I have felt the power and the healing of Reiki and am so appreciative of the impact it has in my life.   There is many-a-story of beauty and healing I have experienced during sessions given to me and by me.  

In light and love...

A letter to my little one...

Fanny Diaz Art  http://fanny-diaz.fineartamerica.com/

September 7^th, 2010

Well…good morning and Happy Birthday to my new little one!   Right now it is 3:48 am in the morning and I am sitting in the kitchen of our little house that we rent in West Point, Utah listening to the sink drip of the 100 year old pipes and completely excited about getting to meet you for the first time today! 

Yep, today is your official first birthday.  Today is the day you get to come into the world.  I can’t imagine what you must be thinking.   I am sure its somewhere around “Hey ma, why haven’t we had our regular 2 am PB&J with milk yet?”   That one I can’t do anything about either…doctor’s orders—no food after midnight.  Very soon, your dad and I will be heading to the hospital for a planned C-Section and we will bring you into this amazing world.  He is super excited as well.  In fact, as nervous as we both are, I don’t think I have ever seen him happier.   It makes my heart warm to see him smile when he lets loose and talks about it.  It almost beams from him without him even knowing it. 

I have to tell you, I don’t really know what to think about today.  I am really in the present moment right now (writing you a letting for you to read in the future still counts as staying in the present moment…I think…ha ha!) just curious about everything you will be and everything today will end up being. 

Your big sister is hopefully sleeping.  She is at your Aunt Laura’s and so dang excited about you coming into the world, into her world, you couldn’t even imagine.   Every time we tell that little 5 year old, she practically bounces off the wall with excitement. 

I think the only word to explain what I am feeing is this calm and peaceful amazement at what life can do when you surrender to its beauty.   I have gone through a transformation since I met your dad.   One that I believe will lead me to many more places.  But the thing I think has been of the utmost amazement is the fact that I am about to have a baby with him.  I am about to bring YOU into the world and that was always a dream of mine.   Lilli Bug came in her perfect time and everything about her coming here was absolutely the way it should be.  I know that in the deepest part of me.  However, I always dreamed of a day when I would get to share this moment with someone that I truly love.   Your dad is that man.  

In addition, I feel like my level of fear is so much less this time.   Lilli taught me then and continues to teach me every day how beautiful life can be, once again, when you truly just be in the moment and let go.   I feel like everything her and I went through on our own prepared me to be so much more relaxed with you.   With that said, you…just being in my womb have already taught me a deeper level of letting go than I have ever known as well.   Especially since we don’t know if you are a BOY or a GIRL!  

I also know that I am going to miss being pregnant with you.  Even though there are times when it was, let’s say “less than comfortable”, I still loved the time we have had together.   Especially our midnight talks when I am sure you were wanting to do anything but listen.
  

I feel extremely blessed and grateful for my life right now.  I can tend to get wrapped around a tree from time to time about things that don’t matter.  I have also learned how amazing all that conflict really is as it teaches exactly what we need to know, if once again, we just let go.  But to sit here and realize the path I have walked down to get here, I just simply can’t put into words what you blessing us with your life means to me.  

I am so extremely honored to get to be next to you and feel the energy of who you are.  To know how close you are to Source and how you chose us to, in essence, pull you away from Source again to let you have that chance to come back to it.   I just can’t quite grasp all of that but I know you can and I want to thank you for it, right now.  I truly can’t wait to see what you are going to do in this world.  I have felt from the beginning that you have an extremely strong and spiritual soul and I just feel like you have something to share with the world.  I am so happy that I will get to see it! 

I can’t wait to feel your sweet little heart against mine and to see your dad’s face as he holds you for the first time.  I can’t wait to look at you and know what we are going to name you finally!  LOL!   I can’t wait to see the face of Lilli when your dad brings her in and she gets to see you for the first time.   It will be beyond beautiful.  Just thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes.  

No matter what, today is a day I will never forget.   For in this moment, now at 4:05 am, I feel like I am at peace with everything I am and everything I have learned.  I feel truly happy in knowing that no matter what my worries are and no matter what I still have to “figure out” (which is absolutely nothing by the way…just an FYI if I forget later, you should remind me…J) I know right now that the universe has made no mistake putting me where I am and I can feel the magnificence of what is about to be, what already is, and what has been.  I am eternally grateful for every last morsel of it. 

Happy Birthday, my little one.  Soon enough, I will be able to look into your eyes and tell you that.  I can’t even imagine what you will be telling me. 

All my love,
Mom

Give a Rip About How You Feel!

What is reality anyway? We tend to pay way too much attention to "reality" when it is as temporary as the thought that created it. We talk so much about our feelings and how bad things feel. I believe that when we really, truly care about how WE actually FEEL inside, we choose to feel good!
When we care about ourselves and how we feel, we CHOOSE to focus on what we want NOT what we don't want. We PURPOSEFULLY look away from the so-called misery--this painful thing that we have been giving way too much attention to. We focus on what could be and what we would like and that makes all the difference.
It's one more way to say that our happiness is not determined by any situation or person or event, it is 1000% determined by our thoughts and our focus.

It is almost scary how truly EASY it is to be happy when you are determined to be.

This is a great Abraham excerpt in the video link below that really captures this thought process and even more. I am always inspired by these!






In love and light,
E