A letter to my little one...

Fanny Diaz Art  http://fanny-diaz.fineartamerica.com/

September 7^th, 2010

Well…good morning and Happy Birthday to my new little one!   Right now it is 3:48 am in the morning and I am sitting in the kitchen of our little house that we rent in West Point, Utah listening to the sink drip of the 100 year old pipes and completely excited about getting to meet you for the first time today! 

Yep, today is your official first birthday.  Today is the day you get to come into the world.  I can’t imagine what you must be thinking.   I am sure its somewhere around “Hey ma, why haven’t we had our regular 2 am PB&J with milk yet?”   That one I can’t do anything about either…doctor’s orders—no food after midnight.  Very soon, your dad and I will be heading to the hospital for a planned C-Section and we will bring you into this amazing world.  He is super excited as well.  In fact, as nervous as we both are, I don’t think I have ever seen him happier.   It makes my heart warm to see him smile when he lets loose and talks about it.  It almost beams from him without him even knowing it. 

I have to tell you, I don’t really know what to think about today.  I am really in the present moment right now (writing you a letting for you to read in the future still counts as staying in the present moment…I think…ha ha!) just curious about everything you will be and everything today will end up being. 

Your big sister is hopefully sleeping.  She is at your Aunt Laura’s and so dang excited about you coming into the world, into her world, you couldn’t even imagine.   Every time we tell that little 5 year old, she practically bounces off the wall with excitement. 

I think the only word to explain what I am feeing is this calm and peaceful amazement at what life can do when you surrender to its beauty.   I have gone through a transformation since I met your dad.   One that I believe will lead me to many more places.  But the thing I think has been of the utmost amazement is the fact that I am about to have a baby with him.  I am about to bring YOU into the world and that was always a dream of mine.   Lilli Bug came in her perfect time and everything about her coming here was absolutely the way it should be.  I know that in the deepest part of me.  However, I always dreamed of a day when I would get to share this moment with someone that I truly love.   Your dad is that man.  

In addition, I feel like my level of fear is so much less this time.   Lilli taught me then and continues to teach me every day how beautiful life can be, once again, when you truly just be in the moment and let go.   I feel like everything her and I went through on our own prepared me to be so much more relaxed with you.   With that said, you…just being in my womb have already taught me a deeper level of letting go than I have ever known as well.   Especially since we don’t know if you are a BOY or a GIRL!  

I also know that I am going to miss being pregnant with you.  Even though there are times when it was, let’s say “less than comfortable”, I still loved the time we have had together.   Especially our midnight talks when I am sure you were wanting to do anything but listen.
  

I feel extremely blessed and grateful for my life right now.  I can tend to get wrapped around a tree from time to time about things that don’t matter.  I have also learned how amazing all that conflict really is as it teaches exactly what we need to know, if once again, we just let go.  But to sit here and realize the path I have walked down to get here, I just simply can’t put into words what you blessing us with your life means to me.  

I am so extremely honored to get to be next to you and feel the energy of who you are.  To know how close you are to Source and how you chose us to, in essence, pull you away from Source again to let you have that chance to come back to it.   I just can’t quite grasp all of that but I know you can and I want to thank you for it, right now.  I truly can’t wait to see what you are going to do in this world.  I have felt from the beginning that you have an extremely strong and spiritual soul and I just feel like you have something to share with the world.  I am so happy that I will get to see it! 

I can’t wait to feel your sweet little heart against mine and to see your dad’s face as he holds you for the first time.  I can’t wait to look at you and know what we are going to name you finally!  LOL!   I can’t wait to see the face of Lilli when your dad brings her in and she gets to see you for the first time.   It will be beyond beautiful.  Just thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes.  

No matter what, today is a day I will never forget.   For in this moment, now at 4:05 am, I feel like I am at peace with everything I am and everything I have learned.  I feel truly happy in knowing that no matter what my worries are and no matter what I still have to “figure out” (which is absolutely nothing by the way…just an FYI if I forget later, you should remind me…J) I know right now that the universe has made no mistake putting me where I am and I can feel the magnificence of what is about to be, what already is, and what has been.  I am eternally grateful for every last morsel of it. 

Happy Birthday, my little one.  Soon enough, I will be able to look into your eyes and tell you that.  I can’t even imagine what you will be telling me. 

All my love,
Mom

Give a Rip About How You Feel!

What is reality anyway? We tend to pay way too much attention to "reality" when it is as temporary as the thought that created it. We talk so much about our feelings and how bad things feel. I believe that when we really, truly care about how WE actually FEEL inside, we choose to feel good!
When we care about ourselves and how we feel, we CHOOSE to focus on what we want NOT what we don't want. We PURPOSEFULLY look away from the so-called misery--this painful thing that we have been giving way too much attention to. We focus on what could be and what we would like and that makes all the difference.
It's one more way to say that our happiness is not determined by any situation or person or event, it is 1000% determined by our thoughts and our focus.

It is almost scary how truly EASY it is to be happy when you are determined to be.

This is a great Abraham excerpt in the video link below that really captures this thought process and even more. I am always inspired by these!






In love and light,
E

Ogden Oneness & Wellness Stroll

***Experience The Work of Byron Katie with ME at Dragonfly Health Foods this Saturday and MUCH, MUCH more
as part of the great Ogden Oneness & Wellness Stroll!***

There are 5 different locations (listed below) with chances to experience and see massage therapy, yoga, aromatherapy, reflexology, reiki, nutrition, life coaching (this is me!), tarot, intuitive readings, law of attraction, earth-friendly products, concious living, spriritulity, and MORE!



Join us for live music, workshops, booths, and food!

This is similar to the Ogden "Friday Art Stroll" but just a little different. This time it is all about Oneness and Wellness~!

LOCATIONS -- **MAP BELOW** (All in OGDEN, UTAH)
Oasis Community Garden (2445 Monroe Blvd)
The Satya Center (795 24th Street)
Borrowed Earth Emporium (2442 Washington Blvd)
Dragonfly Health Foods (260 Historic 25th Street -- upstairs)
Bikram Yoga & Grounds For Coffee (111 Historic 25th Street)

Compassion (Part II) -- Well, what does it look like then?

I woke up with a few more thoughts in my head about this subject. (at 6:30 am no less! I set my alarm by accident last night..:))



I watched a very passionate speaker once and he said a quote that I never have forgot, "You only need ONE person to believe in you. Just one and that can change everything."
What a powerful statement! I have also heard the statement "Believe in yourself and you can change everything." My only trouble is sometimes my mind and thoughts are clouded by my painful story about them.

To add to my original compassion post, this is what I think compassion "looks" like. It is being that ONE person that believes in another. It is seeing that person as the person you know they can be. An example would be possibly seeing someone with an addiction who may be trying to find someone to empathize with them as someone who is already clean and sober. It is looking straight into the eyes of your lying teenager and seeing them as the amazing adult that they are growing to be. People are inspired by that. I am inspired by that. When someone I have looked to in the past for sympathy has looked at me and basically said, "You are much more than what your pain is causing you to appear as to be right now." I have lifted and I mean, I went back into the core of me and really looked at who I was and realized that I WAS more than the story I was telling myself. At the time, I was choosing the pain...I was CHOOSING to be in that story. Their belief in me caused me to turn and focus on a solution instead of reveling in my own sadness--which was getting me nowhere. That was true compassion in my eyes. And those are the people in my life that I go back to time and time again. The ones that inspire me, that refuse to believe in the norms.
Even if my "reality" truly looks painful and I am telling an extremely persuasive story about why they should feel sorry for me--they stay their own course of just loving me and believing in me and refusing to see anything but the already healed version of me.

When true compassion abounds, that is where true healing begins. I will admit that I am new to this changed outlook on compassion. However, in the experiences I have had thus far, I have seen nothing but amazing wonder come from it. Some may ask where does action come in? So, if I don't join them, what am I even doing there to help them? Great questions. My experience is that MORE action and MORE help comes from the lack of focus on the problem and the increase in focus on the solution. When you aren't joining their pain and commiserating with them, you are holding that open space of healing for them. What I have seen is that is when they start to think rationally and just automatically start focusing on the solution with you. It becomes this loving team of people who are basically holding the thought of how everything always works out and they just need to find their way past this one.



I have also noticed an increase in them asking for guidance from you. When this guidance is coming from a place of not needing to fix them and from a place of focusing on the end outcome (and the end version of them that you already see) it is pure inspiration. It catapults both of you into action. They are much more in tune with what they need as are you because the energy has been taken off the misery and pain and put onto a place that exists without the painful thoughts. True compassion in this fashion give them the power to heal themselves which is so powerful and is the kind of healing that lasts.

Those are the rest of my thoughts for now. I look forward to your comments!
E

Compassion--Choosing Not To Join

COM-PAS’SION, (kom-pash’un) n. A deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering, a suffering with another; painful sympathy; a sensation of sorrow excited by the distress or misfortunes of another; to pity; commiseration
COM-PAS’SION-A-BLE, a. Deserving of pity
The standard definitions above and a good number of people would say that to demonstrate compassion you put yourself in a sufferers shoes, comfort them, truly try to understand and most importantly FEEL what they feel.
I absolutely disagree.
True compassion is NOT joining in someone’s story or pain. Compassion does not believe that they are truly in pain. It lies in seeing them without that pain; seeing them as the person without those beliefs about themselves. That is the only place love can enter.
Byron Katie, one of my favorite mentors and teachers, speaks at length about compassion and our beliefs about it. Basically, my beliefs have formulated into that true and real compassion comes when you don’t have a story anymore about someone’s pain or plight. When we ourselves are truly free, we don’t see anything that happens as a mistake. True love and real compassion can only abound when we choose NOT to join someone in their misery. This is key.
Genuine compassion looks like what you are inspired into action with that situation or person but only after you have refused to believe that they are truly in pain. In fact, the compassion that comes from an aligned soul, which refuses to believe in the story someone is telling, is exponentially more powerful than someone saying, “I know how you feel” and feeling their pain right along with them.
For example, if I have a friend who is in pain, my idea of compassion is again, NOT believing their pain. My compassion comes from seeing them as only LOVE can see them, which is confused by a belief that they think is painful. We all have and are confused by beliefs that we believe are painful, but the pain is never real—it is always a story that we merely attached ourselves to and now believe. The way I can be of MOST help to anyone is NOT to join them. Joining them only adds to their pain and it is not compassionate by any means. Instead of one person feeling horrible, you now have two holding and adding to that painful energy.
As a woman, I can remember times in the past when I had (dangerously) sympathized with a friend who was having a tough time in her marriage. In fact, many of her friends were empathizing and giving her a shoulder to cry on. As I look back, I don’t remember her ever benefiting from it. I believe it kept her there focused on the problem longer. I also know that it brought my energy and vibration down and I even found myself starting to (fictionally) see some flaws in my own marriage.
The point to remember in all of this is that I have NO way of understanding how anyone else feels because even if I do “join” someone and try to understand and feel their pain, I am really only understanding my OWN pain—my own story. In this regard, the only way to truly understand them is to commiserate and in turn, hurt myself. Not to mention that now this person has no one that can lead the way or help them OUT of their perceived pain. They just have two people feeling the misery and adding to the fuel that already exists.
In addition, I have no clue nor is it possible to know what is best for anyone else. They are the only one who knows and I cannot ever be in another’s mind. Any advice I might give from this “said” place of compassion where I decide to join them would be from MY place of pain, my story. Who knows where that might lead them?
My favorite part about viewing compassion in this new light is the way I feel. I feel SO much more loving when I stand with someone and see them as WHOLE and COMPLETE and with unconditional love. When I see their pain as a story that they are telling themselves at that moment and they are no different than anyone in this world.
The other magnificent and extremely powerful piece of this is that it opens up a space for this person “suffering” to heal. If I were to join them, I would close down that space because by joining them, all I can hold is the vibration of pain and misery. There is no love there because we are both focused on the negative. By stepping back and seeing them as without pain but with a story, they start to see it that way too. They go back inside to themselves for the answer (which is where all the true answers are) and find the real peace they are looking for. Empathizing with them could absolutely NEVER give them the love and peace they will find when they choose to stop believing the story and see that they are nothing but love.
Have you ever tried to feel horrible around someone that just didn’t agree with your opinion of the whole situation? It is extremely difficult! To illustrate a perfect example of this is a story about my 5 year old who called me from her trip abroad and was extremely upset at a minor “punishment” that had been given to her. She was in tears and completely distraught. I had recently been enlightened to this view of compassion so I chose to just listen quietly and just love her but I never once joined her in her story. I just didn’t believe her pain. I knew that it was just a belief and that she was truly okay and going to make it. She kept asking amidst her tears if I had heard what she was saying. I kept telling her, “Yes, baby, I am listening.” “But Mom, I have to clean out the car! Can’t you hear how horrible it is?” I told her I could hear her but I couldn’t feel what she was feeling. She kept trying for a few minutes and then, in a lightening flash of a moment, she dropped her story and moved on. I mean it was like she had never had a tear in her eye. She actually began a funny story about her little sister and started laughing about it extremely hard! It was a magnificent moment!
Now, I won’t say not believing her pain wasn’t difficult. From a mother’s standpoint, especially on this trip, I had NO control over what was happening to her and I could have easily (and have before) started to console her. It was on the tip of my tongue but I wanted to see what this new view of compassion might bring. Consoling her would of given the energy of agreeing that what she was going through was actually painful and I knew it wasn’t, it was only her thoughts about what she was going through that gave her pain. I held the image of her being just fine and then…she was.

I remember my feelings after this as well. The love I felt for her in that moment was amazing. It was just pure love to see her without her story. It had no control wrapped up in at all. What she felt from me was my energy of holding a picture of my beautiful little girl without her story of the pain. I knew she wasn’t who she was being in the moment. That is the energy my daughter fed off and that is the energy your loved ones will feed off of too. You have to actually believe that they are going to be okay, that the world isn’t a cruel place. You have to hold them in a vision of happiness and joy and without the pain they are feeling too. That is the only way THEY can get there.
Please understand that I don’t suggest that when you see one of your family or friends in pain and just simply walk away or even make light of where they are experiencing. It is just remembering that they are just trying to convince someone, anyone to join them in their misery. It takes an interesting strength to just be there with them, to see them as love and nothing else and they are not something to be “fixed.” That is when you can just listen.
The energy you send out when you see someone that “needs” this previous definition of compassion is that they actually need fixing. You start to identify with their pain and then give them advice. NO WONDER they stay in the pain longer, they have been receiving validation from everyone that they really ARE broken. Compassion to me is seeing everyone without any issues at all--at all. People that DON’T see my pain are the ones that I LOVE to be around. They are the ones that just exude love and see peace in everything. I almost feel healed just being in their presence. Those people are the ones that make you feel so comfortable and are the truly compassionate.
If you want to understand more about what a “story” of pain is and the most effective and amazing technique I have ever run across to release that pain, please visit www.thework.com and look into Byron Katie’s “The Work.” Also, feel free to contact me and I would love to do a free consultation and show you the power of freeing yourself from the pain that beliefs bring. I can truly attest to its power and the love you feel.
Love and light to you all…E

The best pink marshmallows ever...

I first heard of the Laws of Attraction through a way most people probably have heard of it..."The Secret". I have always believed in it but have really come to understand more of the fundamentals of it lately through listening and reading some of the first and respected authors of the subject, Esther and Jerry Hicks and The Teachings of Abraham.
With that said, I have also manifested many things in my life ...probably more than I even realize since truly EVERYTHING is a manifestation.
Tonight though, a very cool one happened. I have been deep into Abraham's teachings lately and listened to her interview with Oprah last night. While I have applied LOA on many of my "big" wishes in my life, she had mentioned that no matter how long you have been manifesting or working consciously with LOA that you should test it and even have some fun with intending something small. So, I thought I would try that. Mine was PINK MARSHMALLOWS. It was the first thing that came to my mind. i started to think about them off and on that night. In fact, I thought maybe my husband might come home with some from his fishing trip. (that was me trying to get too into the details.) So, I was giving my 5 year old daughter a bath and I asked her if she wanted to think of something yummy! She, of course, said yes and so I asked her to close her eyes and start thinking about pink marshmallows. They happen to be on her list of good things to eat...imagine that. I asked her what they tasted like, what they felt like, what they looked like, etc. She went through how they tasted like raspberries and strawberries and how they felt like pillows and how they were the little, bitty ones. She was really into it. It took us about 5 minutes total. We got out of the bath and didn't really think about it.
This evening, our family went up to some childbirth classes as I am about 2 months away from delivering. My daughter went into the "sibling" class and my husband and I went into the childbirth refresher. Lo and behold, when my daughter comes out of her class, she has a big bag of goodies. She asked if she could have something out of the bag. (Her teacher had told her to be sure to ask) I said yes but only one thing for now. She pulled out a bag of pink strawberry mini marshmallows! We were actually on the tour of the hospital where we are going to deliver at the time and I lost all concentration on the tour at that point. I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear! I reminded her of what we talked about and she thought it was cool for a minute but I was the one who couldn't believe my eyes.
To date, that has got to be the most specific example of manifestation I have ever seen. It was just beautiful.
The real story is how it made me remember the simplest way to manifesting everything you want. It is not about believing, it is just about seeing it...really seeing it and putting yourself in the moment of having it with no other thoughts or doubts. My daughter didn't think she was going to get pink marshmallows nor did she think she wasn't, she was just thinking about that new story of pink marshmallows and being completely happy with the thought and imagination of them. She enjoyed every minute in the tub IMAGINING those treats just as MUCH (if not more) than the real thing!
Sit and think about that one...that is what it is all about. Loving my life and all that thought has brought to me.

We've Come A Long Way, Baby! GUEST POST BY MARY SIMPSON

All,

I am THRILLED to be putting up this guest post by my long time and dear friend, Mary Simpson.  She and I have been kindred spirits since the moment we met.  The other day, we were having one of our famous and somewhat frequent "figuring out the meaning of life" conversations when she started to really tell me about this garden of hers.  Her insights comparing her journey and this garden struck me as so poignant that I had to ask her to do me the honor of writing a guest post for my blog.

Enjoy...  (I know I did!)

E

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A couple of months ago, I started a garden. The idea came to me simple enough. It was something I always wanted to do and would mention it to my roommate occasionally, but it wasn’t something that I jumped right into. I’d always thought of myself as a person who really loves plants but could never do it. I didn’t have a green thumb. The one plant I had when I was 18 years old died when I went out of town and didn’t ask anyone to water it. That was enough for me to believe for the next 17 years that I just did not have what it takes. So, I would admire people who could and somehow see them as slightly better than me.  They could help something grow, they could start from scratch. I could not. That is when it hit me- I’ve never started from scratch before- so how do I know? That thought gave me momentum, and finally my roommate and I hit Lowes for a self taught lesson in horticulture 101.

We planted our seedlings in the kitchen. They had to stay in their little containers for a good few weeks before we could do any transplanting. I remember feeling such excitement just laying the seeds in the soil. I sent them love, welcomed them to our home and told them to hurry up and grow. I even marked the day we planted the seeds on our calendar in the kitchen. I was like a new mother. The first day I noticed the sprouts, I did the dance of joy. I even broke out into Broadway songs – partially because I heard plants like music and partially because I like to break out into Broadway songs. I was so proud, I could not see straight. I had begun to do something that I never thought I could do.

In the meantime, I had also purchased Dolores Van Cartier, our wonderful peace lily, and our spices (basil, thyme and fennel) who have become part of the family. By the time I transplanted the sprouts to the back yard, I had a newfound confidence about myself. Our excitement was contagious because friends were buying plants of their own.

After transplanting the sprouts, things began to change. They were flourishing inside of the house, but not all of them took the outside as well. I began to worry a little and could feel a small fracture in my confidence. But, enough plants were thriving that I accepted that the ones who did not make it did what they could. Soon, we decided to move the plants to their permanent homes in our backyard. More in direct sunlight. Just like when I transplanted them the first time, there were some plants who could not survive the move. Watching the plants, I began to get introspective and realized how much tending a garden is like tending yourself. I needed to be aware of what made each plant both thrive and suffer. There were times that I would be hard on the plants because they weren’t growing as fast as how I wanted to grow. The spices and Dolores were thriving inside the house with minimal attention from me and I began to compare them to the outside plants. Incidentally at the same time, I was dealing with my own issues. I had fallen into a surprising slump after a high and was picking on myself for slipping up when I had been doing so well.

Of course, I continued to take care of the plants everyday. All of my plants-inside and out. I would water, encourage them and wait. Simultaneously, I would work on my own mending. It finally hit me that sometimes, you’re going to find growth where you don’t expect it. Sometimes you’re going to focus on the parts that need growth and they just don’t seem to be getting anywhere. No matter what- you have to keep watering. You have to keep giving love. You have to keep believing the growth happens even when you can’t see it. Sooner or later, if you just keep going, you’re going to wake up and find you have a real garden.

That’s what I have now. A real garden. I have proof that I can grow, I can give life. Yes, there are days when there are mushrooms and bugs in my garden (literally and figuratively) that put me off and make me frustrated. There are times when I have the thought that everything (meaning I) could be a little better- can be a little more. But then, I take a step back and realize they were all just seeds when we started. We were starting from scratch. And we’ve come a long way, baby.